For Sitaram Shastry
There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, that is suicide. Judging whether life is worth living or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy.
Albert Camus
The Myth of Sisyphus
Artur Bakaev was travelling in the West Himalayas in Nepal. He had heard of an area called 'The Black Hole' and the legend that no one returns alive from it. He was curious and as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.
Asking every where he finally reached a small hamlet called Posung and there he was. Yes, The Black Hole does exist and it is across the river but no one from the village was prepared to take him there. When asked if any one before him had come, they readily answered, yes, yes, several white men had gone there but no one returned.
Artur was reading Camus and said to himself, what the hell! I might as well find out if life is worth living or not. So he took a small boat and crossed the river. The villagers told him where to start and where best to land. He found a small foot path leading up the hills. With his heart in his hand he slowly proceeded. It was a sort of lane which twisted and turned every few hundred meters with bushes all around. Squirrels were running up and down and he heard many birds chirping and even saw a few of them. A hare ran across the field.
Then he heard a whistle and a man jumped down from a tree with binoculars in his hands. He was dressed for moving about in the forest, with dull coloured clothes and good hiking shoes. He said, 'Welcome to The Black Hole! Follow me.'
They walked through the forest and reached a village square. It had two bungalow kind of buildings with sign boards. One read 'The Last Fling' and the other 'Ever Rest'. There was also a pub on one side called 'The Watering Hole'. His host took him there and ordered cold beer. A lot of young European volunteers in farmer's clothes were also drinking beer and chatting away in several different languages. Artur was happy to see the German beer 'Augustina' on the menu and ordered and took a deep draught. Then the host said that his name was Gavriola, which is Russian for Gabriel, and asked Artur, 'Show me your papers and tell me a little about yourself'. After listening he said, 'Oh! You are a German Jew! I will call Hannah to take you around. Meanwhile, let me assure you, there is no danger and you can go back whenever you want.' Artur let out a huge sigh of relief and gulped the remaining beer.
Hannah turned up, a stunningly beautiful brunette in a long flowing maroon skirt and a fetching canary yellow top. After they were introduced, Gavriola said he had to go back to his post in the forest. Hannah said let us move to the lounge of Ever Rest, here it is too noisy.
The Ever Rest lounge was a bit dark with several alcoves and low comfortable sofas. There was a menu and key board on the coffee table. Hannah ordered another Augustina for him and an apple juice for herself by pressing the menu numbers on the key board. A waiter silently appeared and placed their order on their table without uttering a word.
Hannah said, 'You must be dying to ask some questions so go ahead. But be assured you won't die without your wish.'
Artur's first question was ‘Why do the villagers say that no one returns alive from here!’
Hannah smiled displaying white even teeth and said, 'Always and always this is the first question. Yes, what the villagers say is true from their experience. But as Gavriola told you, you are free to leave any minute. Only you will not go back the same way. We take you through another route to another village at the other side of the valley.'
'We do this to discourage people from visiting us out of sheer curiosity.'
'But also some people actually do not return. They come here to die. We are the Federal Headquarters of the International Society for Euthanasia. Societies in member countries are our members and they annually contribute to the upkeep of this centre. However, it is also self sufficient in terms of food and energy and several volunteers work here. I am a volunteer.'
Why do you call this place ‘The Black Hole’?
‘The real name of our place is Freeland. Here everything is free. You are free to stay or not to stay. There is no money. You can eat and drink whatever you like and as much as you like. However, once you decide to stay for a longer period you will get to know the basic discipline. We operate on the principle of ‘a free association of free people.'’
'How do people wanting to commit euthanasia die here?'
‘When they come they are first put up in Ever Rest for as long as they like. The hotel has a big library on euthanasia and films and case studies of how people came to decide when and how - both here and elsewhere. They can also go back if they feel like. When they are ready they ask for a date.'
‘Then they are shifted to The Last Fling. Most people would already have planned their last fling. They have a host that they can choose from volunteers. A typical routine is that they want to see the Sunrise on the mountain in the East and the Sunset on the Western mountain. They have a dinner and music of their choice. The medicine is given in their food with their full consent but they won't feel it.'
‘When they are ready to retire, the host takes them to their room and helps them to undress. Some like to be left alone whereas some want to die in the arms of their host. All their wishes are fulfilled.'
‘I have to go now. They will give you a room here for a day. Feel free to do anything you like – use the library, go for a walk, meet other guests. I will meet you tomorrow morning at 11. Guten tag!'
*****
Artur went up to his room. There was a laundry basket which said that clothes will be returned by 7 pm and there was a pyjama suit and a track suit. He quickly got out of his clothes and put all his clothes in the laundry basket, had a bath, got into the pyjama suit and crawled between sheets.
He woke up refreshed around 1 pm, got into his track suit and went down to the lunch area. He heard someone speaking German and joined him for lunch. He stuck to his Augustina beer although a lot of choice was available. He had some fish, some white wine and apple pie and three varieties of cheese.
His companion was a portly looking ex banker with a walrus moustache. Over coffee he told his story of coming to the Freeland. He was healthy but was quite old – 69 going on to 70, and wanted to die in good health. He had made a living will in which he expressed his desire not to be hospitalised if he fell ill. But that did not satisfy him so he made another document called 'legal death' on his 69th birthday. In this he settled all his affairs and converted a million DM in traveller's cheque and left home. He wandered around the world for nearly a year and finally came here to die. He wanted to die on his 70th birthday.
Then he asked Artur's story. Artur said he was a volunteer in India for a year and on his way back he was travelling in Nepal. In Germany he was with an anti nuclear organisation called Kurve Westrow. Herr Ackermann asked quite a lot about KW, its work, its funding etc. Then he looked embarrassed, coughed twice and asked if it was alright if he made a small donation to KW. He still had some left out of his million DM and he had very little time to spend and nowhere to spend. Of course all money left will go to Freeland. Artur said yes and thanked and asked how much he wished to give. He said a quarter of a million, that is, 250,000 DM is all he could spare because he did want to leave some money for Freeland also.
*****
After lunch Artur went for a long walk. He saw volunteers working in fields, shepherding mountain sheep, running poultry and piggeries. He went up the Western mountain to see the Sunset. On his way he saw micro hydel plants running and producing electricity. At the Sunset point there was a glass encased room, a few tables, with a carafe of red wine on each table and glasses. About 8 people were already there looking out at the Western sky. The Sun slowly turned into a huge orange and then into a red ball and slowly sunk down the mountains. Every one watched breathlessly. The red wine in the glass glowed!
*****
Next morning Hannah was there in blue jeans, bottle green top and tough shoes. Over Augustina and apple juice she asked what he thought of the place. Artur said he was thrilled and told her the story of the donation to his organisation. Yes she had heard about it and she was happy that the money was going to good causes. Then Artur said that he would like to be a volunteer for a few months and would like to be a host for a Last Fling. She said ‘you are welcome to be a volunteer but to be a host to the Last Fling will take some time. Usually the volunteers train for about 3 months before they are ready for it and the organisation is satisfied about them. Normally, they will have to stay in the volunteer's hostel but twice a week he can join for a meal at the Ever Rest for getting used to the ideas of euthanasia. He can use the library - both books and films as part of his training.’
*****
The next three months were very busy for Artur. He worked for 5 days a week for half the day in various projects of Freeland which made it self sufficient in food and energy. He also spent some time at the Kindergarten. Twice a week he spent studying euthanasia and interacting with people who were staying at Ever Rest and who in their own way were also studying euthanasia.
The three months flew by. He had come in January and now it was April. Then one day Ruth, one of the residents of Ever Rest asked him if he would be the host at her Last Fling on Good Friday! Artur was thrilled but he said he had to get the approval from Freeland management. She said she had already asked them and they said it was alright.
*****
Friday, the 13th April, 2012 remained etched in Artur's memory forever. Ruth was 55 years old and she had leukaemia or blood cancer. She was a biochemist and had held a professor's job at the Max Planck Institute. At the age of 50 when she discovered she had cancer she retired from her job on medical grounds and had a good pension.
Ruth was a German Jew of Russian origin. However, her parents had become Christians and she carried a multi religious, multi ethnic and multi lingual culture. She was active in peace movement, in anti nuclear movement and in Humanist Atheist movements. She was thus a curious mix of rationalism and rich cultural background.
Ruth had been staying longest at Ever Rest. Not because she had any misgivings about euthanasia. But all her actions were deliberate. She wanted to enjoy life as long as she could and then decide to end it when it was not worth living any more. She chose her date and her host with care and had a reason for everything.
So on April 13, 2012, Artur was ready early morning in a track suit to accompany her to the Sunrise point on the Eastern Mountain. After the glorious sunrise they breakfasted on orange juice, black coffee and Russian black bread and some cheese.
She rested most of the day and had a frugal lunch with some fish soup and wafers and a pint of Augustina.
In the evening Artur was ready in a black suit to accompany her to the Sunset point in the Western Mountain. They remained seated quietly for nearly half an hour sipping red wine. They returned and after a small rest she went back to the dining room dressed in a fantastic black gown with white lace. Artur complimented her on her dress and as they marched down to the dining table the orchestra broke in with the Wedding March from Mid Summer's Night Dream by Mendelssohn. The menu was already chosen and consisted of:
Borsch
A plov with lypyoschka with red mellow wine
Trout Fish with white wine
Augustina
Salted cashew nuts
Seven kinds of cheese
Liqueur
Coffee
Ruth chatted pleasantly about her child hood in Russia and Russian Christmas when they went to the forest to cut down a Christmas tree and about her dog Ilyusha who followed her everywhere. Then she talked about her University days in Berlin, the protest marches against nuclear weapons and movements for peace and disarmament. She said she is dying happily because Fukushima occurred and now at least Germany won't have any nuclear plants. Then she talked about Freeland and the self sufficient commune and about agro ecology.
She told him the story of Mendelssohn discovering the music scrolls of Passion by Johann Sebastian Bach in a butcher's shop and his subsequent struggle to perform it. How it was the German Jews, who rescued the greatest music of all time by the combined efforts of Mendelssohn, a Jewish banker and hundreds of musicians who practised the music in a barn away from the city without charging anything on Sundays. She explained her choice of music for the day. She chose the Wedding March because she was marrying Death. Then she chose Passion because it was Good Friday. Passion referred to the suffering of Jesus on the Cross.
As the dinner progressed the music switched over to pieces from Passion and then she continued it on a DVD in her room upstairs. Artur was enchanted and was moving as if in a dream. He woke up in her bed at 2 in the morning. It took some time to realise where he was and he thought why he woke. He became aware of a silence. There was no music and Ruth was not breathing. He dressed quietly and kept a wake till sunrise.
Artur found a packet waiting for him in his room. He tore it open and found five books with a note from Ruth saying that she always carried these books with her. The books were:
The Good Soldier Schweik by Jaroslav Hasek
To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee
Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Walden by Henry D. Thoreau
